Welcome to the world of randomness, ramblings, and reflections. Enter with caution.

17 April 2005

from the farmland

Well, Daddy was released from the hospital yesterday (saturday). His surgery on wednesday went really well. They ended up doing 6 bypasses instead of 7. The surgeon was highly respected by all the nursing staff, and speaking of them, all of the nursing staff were great. So now we are hanging out at the hotel, waiting to go to a follow-up on tuesday and also waiting to get the green light to fly home the next day. Kristen, my sister, is flying up here tomorrow. It'll be good to have the family in one place.

I can't imagine how my sister is dealing. She hasn't been able to be up here with us and I'm sure it's been killing me. It was killing me until I was able to be up here. Even though I didn't know if my dad had made it through when I landed, I still felt better knowing that I was up here. So Mija, I love you and I'm praying for you. I can't wait until you can be here with us.

I feel kinda helpless. I mean, my dad is doing great, considering he just had major heart surgery less than a week ago. But I wish I knew what I could do for him. I don't want to baby him, cause he doesn't need or want that. But I wish there was something I could do. My guess is once we all get back home things will get better. I'm sure he'll be more comfortable in his own house around familiar territory. But I still wish there was something I could do right now.

Please keep the prayers coming. Pray that my dad makes a swift and safe recovery. Pray that we encounter no complications that would keep us from going home this wednesday. Pray that as we all fly, my dad will be comfortable and that it will be a safe flight. Pray he can get upgraded to first class, which would be more comfortable for him. And pray for us, his kids and his family, that we would know how to help him and that we would be able to deal with all of this. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me. Plus with my wedding less than three weeks away, I've got a lot to think about. Before his surgery, I was just worried about whether or not he would be here, period. I wasn't even concerned about the wedding. But now I know I need to think about that again. I know things will work out, but it is kind of stressful for me right now. So pray, also, that all the final wedding details will work themselves out beautifully. Thanks, and God Bless.

12 April 2005

no words fit

so it's been a rough few days. after hours and days of searching, my future husband and I finally found an apartment. That was tiresome, but nothing compared to what else i would encounter.

on monday evening, i get a call from my sister.

(me) hello?
(sister) hey, have you talked to dad?
(me) no, why?
(sister) he's in the hospital in Illinois.
(me)
i fall down on the floor what? i knew he was in illinois on a business trip
he was having chest pains and the plant manager took him to the ER.

the conversation went on and come to find out that they didn't know if my daddy had had a heart attack or not, but that this enzyme/protein level in his blood, which is indicative of a heart problem, was elevated. they had done an EKG, and that looked good, but since the level was rising, they were going to keep him overnight and monitor the level. there was a chance they would have to take him to another hospital and perform a heart catheterization to see what, if anything, was going on.

overnight the level stabilized, but they still wanted to take him to a different hospital so they could look around. my daddy went in for that catheterization this afternoon around 4. all was not so good.

Daddy has 4 arteries blocked at between 80-95%, and 2 arteries blocked at around 60%. needless to say, they are going to have to do something about this. so tomorrow, april 13, sometime between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m., my father is going to have quintuple bypass surgery. yes, that's 5 bypasses. i didn't even know they did that many.

my father is in good spirits. my brother, kyle, is flying up there early wednesday morning, and i'll be flying up there wednesday evening. my sister, kristen will be coming up there closer to the time when he will be released from the hospital. it looks like if all goes well, that should be about the middle of next week.

i'm not gonna lie, i'm pretty shaken about this. i know God has everything in control, but that doesn't mean i don't want my dad around. I'm getting married in less than a month and i want him to be there to walk me down the aisle. whether or not he'll be able to actually walk is another issue, but i want him there. God already took my mother away from me 8 years ago, i can't lose my daddy now. sometimes i forget just how precious life is. i'm grateful daddy let the plant manager take him into the ER. i'm grateful that they've found these problems and are going to take care of them. but i still could lose him at any time. how often we forget that each morning is a gift. any one of us could live our last day today. live is so fragile and precious. we are not promised tomorrow. we are not guaranteed a long and healthy life. my father is a man who eats a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast every morning, and has for a long time. but he has to have 5 arteries patched so his heart will function normally and safely. knowing all this, though, still doesn't seem to make this any easier for me.

i know that i don't have to know why. i learned that with my mother. but it doesn't make not knowing any easier. people will always say things like, "everything will be okay", or, "it's in God's hands." and while i appreciate the fact that they mean well, it doesn't help. i know all those things. what can you say to me now that i don't know that will comfort me? a good friend simply said, "i don't know what to say. but man, that sucks!" that was one of the best things i could hear. it does suck. and i don't know what to say either.

i am asking all who read this to pray. pray for my father during the surgery. he's in good spirits, making jokes, but he still is about to have major surgery. pray for the doctors, that God would be their hands and tools and instruments. pray for my family, that we would feel comfort and peace. pray for my siblings and myself as we travel separately and on different days. pray for me to relax and not worry about wedding stuff, but that i could just focus on my father right now. pray that my father does well in surgery. pray for us all as we go into the recovery stage, taking care of my daddy. pray that we will all return home safely. just pray.

11 April 2005

oh i wish....

.....i could snap my fingers and have all wedding plans fall into place

.....more food places delivered. i'm not much for pizza or chinese

.....apartments were cheaper

.....i were an oscar mayer wiener

.....i really hadn't just typed that

.....my room would stop throwing up everywhere

.....i could eat as much ice cream as i want without feeling the effects of all that bad stuff

.....gas prices resembled summer 1999 (under a dollar...wouldn't that be nice?)

.....i never had to get sick

.....i could think of something else more creative to wish for

07 April 2005

reminiscing

Beauxquitah: my butt hurts like crazy, though
SLPnFalDwn: "shake shake shake..."
Beauxquitah: no, that hurts too much
SLPnFalDwn: hmmm... do they have any pillows to check out?
Beauxquitah: nope
SLPnFalDwn: darn
Beauxquitah: I should bring one of those donut things, though right?
SLPnFalDwn: as long as your butt doesn't mistake it for a toilet
SLPnFalDwn: ewww... that's gross
SLPnFalDwn: why did i type that?
Beauxquitah: i don't know
SLPnFalDwn: i should have read it before i hit enter... because as soon as i did... i cringed
Beauxquitah: yeah, me too


gosh i miss IM

06 April 2005

more defensive driving fun

okay, so this is so funny to me and I don't know why. Here's an little bit of what I have to read while doing my defensive driving.

"Marijuana, often referred to as grass, pot or weed, is the unprocessed, dried leaves, stems and seeds of the cannabis sativa and the cannabis indica plants. Hashish, a more potent product, is processed from the resin in the flowers of the marijuana plant. Like marijuana, it may be smoked or eaten. In its most frequently used form, the dried leaves are shredded and rolled with cigarette papers into a "joint." Hashish is usually smoked in a pipe."

I don't know why, but it's just funny to me that I get to learn all about the wacky tabacky through defensive driving. anyone else find that funny? or is it just me?

comments

so, I've added comments on my site now. Hopefully it'll work.

05 April 2005

Defensive driving (and other stuff)

So I'm taking an online defensive driving course for a ticket dismissal. It's alright. Some of it seems like Dr. Phil is teaching the course, but hey, whatever saves me the cost of the ticket. I just need to get it done!

Oh yeah. A little update for everyone (in case you didn't already know). I got engaged in November. Yeah, it's pretty cool. The wedding is in just under a month. May 7, to be exact. I'm so excited! I love Josh so much and am so looking forward to us spending the rest of our lives together.

I've also quit my job for the city, only to apply for another job for the city. This job would actually let me use my degree, though. It's for a part time video producer position. Hopefully I'll get it, or some job that uses my degree. Prayers for jobs for both Josh and me would be very helpful. He has a job, but it doesn't pay the greatest. It's enough to squeak by, pending nothing major happens, like car repairs. So yeah, prayers for us are greatly appreciated. It'll all work out somehow, I just know it.