Welcome to the world of randomness, ramblings, and reflections. Enter with caution.

22 June 2005


I watched the sun rise today. It wasn't a special day or anything, but the sun starts to rise when I'm on my way to work. Lately, this event hasn't been anything spectacular. It's either been stormy and overcast, or just bright and blue. But today it was beautiful. It reminded me of when I was little.

We used to take family vacations to Galveston. We would stay at, I believe it was the Galyan, and I remember our "room" would always consist of these things: a main bedroom, two bunk beds built into the wall, a kitchen, a living area with a hide-a-bed, and an ocean-view balcony. Well, technically it was a gulf-view, but to me it will always be an ocean view.

Mom and Dad would stay in the main bedroom, while my brother, sister and I would take turns in the bunks and on the hide-a-bed. And whenever I would sleep on the hide-a-bed, that following morning Momma and I would get up early and watch the sun rise. Sometimes I was awake first, sometimes she would come and wake me up, and sometimes I'd wake up to her moving around in the kitchen. We would sit on the balcony, watching the sun come up over the ocean. This morning looked like one of those sunrises Momma and I would share.

I don't know why I noticed it so much this morning. For the past year I've been at work before the sun comes up, and there have been some gorgeous sunrises. But today was different. I don't know how, but it was. Just different.

16 June 2005

i can't seem to escape it

Well, I'm back at the pool. I'm trying to have a good attitude about it, but there comes a point where you're 23 years old, married, and have a college degree, and you really don't want to be lifeguarding anymore. It's not like it's a very hard job(don't get me wrong, it is harder than most people think), it's just that I've been doing it for so long, I kinda want to get away from it. But at the same time, Josh doesn't have a job and with this job I was able to start immediately. It's one of those "for worse" times in our marriage. You do what has to be done. you might not like getting up at 5 every morning and working 10 hour shifts, but you do it.

I was thinking the other day about how much I loved working at camp. Besides the fact that I got a killer tan and lost about 25 pounds each summer, I felt like I was really doing something worthwhile. Granted, I was lifeguarding. And guarding at camp is a lot harder than guarding at a city pool. But I was working with kids, I was impacting them, I was using my hands getting into the dirt and building something.

My second (and last) summer, there was a kid who fell off the blob backwards and caught his neck on the rope. We had to backboard him and they took him to the hospital. I was the first responding guard; I had seen the whole thing happen from my post at the top of the blob tower. He came back and it ended up being just a sprain. It could have been a lot worse. When he got back from the hospital, the kid came up to me and thanked me for saving him. I didn't feel like I had done anything special, I had just done my job. But when he came up to me and I saw that he was better, it gave me such joy.

I started thinking about how I had saved him physically, but who knows who I had saved spiritually in all of my conversations with the kids at camp. I don't remember "leading them to the Lord", you know, with the Roman road and a prayer and all that. But I talked to kids, asked about their interests, what they thought of the worship times, how God has made a difference in my life, what I got out of the worship times. Maybe, just maybe one of those kids thought about God differently and is now free from sin, all because I talked to them.

I don't need to know how many, or if any at all. But it was really cool to think about that. I often times forget, but I realized just how similar my fleshly job is to my spiritual job. I need to be watching out for people, for their (spiritual)safety. And when I see them start to go down, I need to jump in and save them. Maybe I won't see instant results, maybe I won't see any results, but I do know that I have to try my best. Every day I pray that God will keep me alert as I watch the pool, and that He will help me remember all of my skills if I need to take action. But how I forget to ask Him to help me in the job that all believers are called to do.

Lord, help me to not only me a physical lifeguard, but a spiritual one as well. Help me to recognize those in need. Help me know what I need to do to save them. Lord, I know it's only You who can save them, but use me to help. Enable me to do what you have called me to do.