Welcome to the world of randomness, ramblings, and reflections. Enter with caution.

23 August 2005

happy birthday

i want to wish a hearty HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! to one of my best friends, ABBEY!!!!! Happy Birthday, girl!!

i also want to wish a hearty BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! to my brother-in-law, JOSHUA! Happy Birthday One-Day-Late, Brother!!!

nothing more

well, yesterday i droped off my application at the City of Rowlett. now there's nothing more i can do. all i can do is wait for God to either have them call me for an interview, or for them to bury my application in a file somewhere where it will remain for years to come. i'm hoping for the former. all i know is i'm so ready to leave the pool.

18 August 2005


So I just discovered on the City of Rowlett webpage that they are hiring for an assistant video producer. please pray that i get this job, if it's where God wants me. it would be so awesome! and it's full-time!

heart and mind and soul

i've been feeling a little down lately. it's not just one thing, it's a lot of things. things like, are we going to make rent next month, and what about all our bills, and why can't i be doing something i really love for a job?

i have a confession to make. i've been obsessed with the entertainment industry for as long as i can remember. i've always loved singing and acting, making music and being able to connect with people through art and comedy. i love going to movies and listening to music. i love making music. not only do i enjoy the "in the public eye" aspect of the indusry, but the behind the scenes stuff as well. i enjoyed being in theatre all through middle school and high school; i enjoyed leading worship throughout high school and college(and still today). i went to college and earned a degree in radio/television production, and had a lot of fun in my classes. but there still seems to be something missing. i'm still not working in this field.

i have been looking for a job in my field, and it's been hard to find something here in Dallas. i want to move to California or New York, because there's so much more activity in my field in these places. i know there's a lot of competition, but there's also a lot mor to be competitive about. but in moving to one of these places, one needs to have the funds to do so. and right now josh and i don't have the funds for much of anything.

i'm struggling with this desire to pursue my dream. ever since i was little i imagined myslef being in the entertainment industry in some form or fashion. it's really hard to determine whether this whole thing is my desire, or if it's God's desire for me. but i do know that He's gonna take care of me.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
-Phillipians 4:19

"Take delight in the LORD,and he will give you your heart's desires."
-Psalm 37:4

17 August 2005

messy mind

my mind is a mess. there's so many things going on insode of it right now, that it would take me several posts to try to organize my mind. so i'll just hit a few things.

i had an interview with the Texins Activity Center yesterday. it's located on the main Texas Instruments campus at 635 and 75. the interview went well and the guy offered me a job. well, he didn't exaclt offer me a job, but he handed me all the paperwork that i would need to take home and fill out and bring back. i don't know if it went well because he thought i was qualified, or if they are just so desperate for lifeguards and swim instructors that he was going to take on anyone who showed him their certification cards.

so i took the paper work and he showed me around the pool and explained how things would run. i never exactly agreed to take the job, meaning i never said "Yes, I will most definitely become an employee of the Activity Center". but i did take all the paperwork home. i have yet to return it.

for some reason i just didn't have a good feeling about it. i can't explain why exactly, but there are a few things that really bothered me. for one, there would be no other lifegurds with me on any of my guarding shifts. what happens if some person being stupid dives into the shallow end and i have to backboard him? you can't backboard someone with just one person. there are also no lifeguards on duty when swim lessons or water aerobics are going on. it's just the responsibility of the instructors to pay attention to every single person in the water.

there was another things that really did not sit well with me. while i was down in the pool area, there was this man who liked to sit on the bottom of the deep end with a small dumbell in his lap. like a little 5-10 pounder. first of all, that is totally not safe. second, he's been told it's not a safe thing to do, and thirdly, this was while a class was going on - with no lifeguard on duty. the guy i interviewed with said that because people pay a membership fee, they can do whatever they want. whether that was his decision or a decision from higher up, it bothered me the rest of the day.

i'm going to call the guy tomorrow and tell him that i don't think i should take the job. i prayed about it and have just not had a good feeling about it since i left the interview. i don't want to put myself in a work environment where my skills as a lifeguard could be jeopardized because of poor structure of a program. i don't want to be sued for going in after someone and he or she not surviving becuse i didn't have proper backup as a lifeguard. and i'm really okay with not taking it. the haven't photocopied anything(like my certifications, driver's license, or ss card), or started to process any paperwork. sure it would be nice to have an extra job, but when my reputation could be at stake, that's not exactly something i want to sign up for.

well, that's part of the messy mind. but it's okay that my mind is messy; i'm used to my room being that way.

08 August 2005

just keep swimming

so i'm teaching swim lessons again. it's ok. it's not so much that i mind teaching lessons, cause i don't, but it's my first session this summer and i know it's different than last summer because there's a new person in charge. but i feel like i've kinda been thrown into it without knowing what's going on. for instance, we have one day that is reserved as "safety day." well, i remember what we did last year, but this year is slightly different. instead of telling me what i'm supposed to go over with my students, i'm just kinda thrown into it, hoping i cover everything my boss wants me to cover. i guess my main thing is it would be nice to know what's expected of me. not only in what i'm supposed to teach, but what i'm supposed to do. am i grading my students this year, or is someone else coming around to evaluate? it can just be alittle frustrating.

so as much as i don't want to be working as a lifeguard for the city anymore, i really need a better paying job. so, i called about a job opening for swim instructors and lifeguards at Texins. i don't know if it pays better, but it's attached to Texas Instruments, so i'm guessing it pays at least as well as i'm making now.so, hopefully i'll get the job and it will pay better. i really want to get away from working for the city. as i've said before, i'm the oldest person there and lately i've felt my maturity level drop when i'm at work. it gets kinda frustrating.

josh got a job with Starbucks and started working last week. once his hours pick up, i'll be able to cut down on my hours at the city, or wherever i'm working at that time. i still really want to go into the entertainment field, but for now i'm having to put that on hold. and that's a whole other post in itself. there's so many things i want ot post about, but right now i just haven't the time. maybe next week when things slow down at work.