Welcome to the world of randomness, ramblings, and reflections. Enter with caution.

25 June 2008

shameless self promotion

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17 June 2008

my kiwwian

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02 June 2008

outdone

question:

why do we feel the need to "outdo" each other on everything? why do we have to outdo each other when it comes to our grief? seriously.

a conversation went like this. the circumstances were around one of our friends having to leave town suddenly because of her father's health condition.

me: "this may not be the best time to tell you this, but when i was 15, my mother died. so if you need someone to talk to, whether your dad ends up being fine or whatever, i understand and i'm here if you need to talk."

okay, let me interject real quick here. this bit of information isn't something that everyone i hang out with knows. it's not exactly something you tell people when you meet them for the first time: 'hi, i'm katie and my mother died of cancer when i was only 15 years old. so what do you do for a living?' the main reason i brought it up was to let her know i've been there and i am here for her if she wants to talk to someone who's been through it. ok, back to conversation.

other friend with us: "yeah, when i was little both my grandparents died. and i had nobody. i mean, i didn't know what to do."

see? right there! i was trying to let our friend know she's not alone and someone she knows has been through what she;s going through. then our other friend had to outdo me with her grief. and i'm gonna get on a soapbox here for a second, but losing a grandparent is nowhere near the same as losing your parent. the only place i would consider it would be if your grandparents raised you and basically were your parents.

i had to take a step back and make sure what i said to our friend in need wasn't trying to outdo her in her current situation. and i don't think it was. had i gone into details then and there about how terrible it was and how depressed i got and so on, then yeah, it would have been just that. but i think by what i said i was more or less informing her of something in my life that can relate to her should she need someone to talk to.

it really bothers me when people try and outdo me, or other people for that matter. why must we always have the best story, or the worst experiences or the most broken bones in one event? what is it about our nature that makes us this way, especially when it comes to caring for our friends? i don't have an answer. and i don't know that i will ever figure it out

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