a little late...

ok, so i know this is like a week late, but.......



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER!!! I love you!! hope you enjoy your birthday present!

i'm 15% incomplete

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

You Are 35% Normal(Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all You think on a totally different wavelength And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

How Normal Are You?

so where's the last 15%?

happy birthday

i want to wish a hearty HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! to one of my best friends, ABBEY!!!!! Happy Birthday, girl!!

i also want to wish a hearty BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! to my brother-in-law, JOSHUA! Happy Birthday One-Day-Late, Brother!!!

nothing more

well, yesterday i droped off my application at the City of Rowlett. now there's nothing more i can do. all i can do is wait for God to either have them call me for an interview, or for them to bury my application in a file somewhere where it will remain for years to come. i'm hoping for the former. all i know is i'm so ready to leave the pool.

f.y.i.

So I just discovered on the City of Rowlett webpage that they are hiring for an assistant video producer. please pray that i get this job, if it's where God wants me. it would be so awesome! and it's full-time!

heart and mind and soul

i've been feeling a little down lately. it's not just one thing, it's a lot of things. things like, are we going to make rent next month, and what about all our bills, and why can't i be doing something i really love for a job?

i have a confession to make. i've been obsessed with the entertainment industry for as long as i can remember. i've always loved singing and acting, making music and being able to connect with people through art and comedy. i love going to movies and listening to music. i love making music. not only do i enjoy the "in the public eye" aspect of the indusry, but the behind the scenes stuff as well. i enjoyed being in theatre all through middle school and high school; i enjoyed leading worship throughout high school and college(and still today). i went to college and earned a degree in radio/television production, and had a lot of fun in my classes. but there still seems to be something missing. i'm still not working in this field.

i have been looking for a job in my field, and it's been hard to find something here in Dallas. i want to move to California or New York, because there's so much more activity in my field in these places. i know there's a lot of competition, but there's also a lot mor to be competitive about. but in moving to one of these places, one needs to have the funds to do so. and right now josh and i don't have the funds for much of anything.

i'm struggling with this desire to pursue my dream. ever since i was little i imagined myslef being in the entertainment industry in some form or fashion. it's really hard to determine whether this whole thing is my desire, or if it's God's desire for me. but i do know that He's gonna take care of me.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
-Phillipians 4:19

"Take delight in the LORD,and he will give you your heart's desires."
-Psalm 37:4

messy mind

my mind is a mess. there's so many things going on insode of it right now, that it would take me several posts to try to organize my mind. so i'll just hit a few things.

i had an interview with the Texins Activity Center yesterday. it's located on the main Texas Instruments campus at 635 and 75. the interview went well and the guy offered me a job. well, he didn't exaclt offer me a job, but he handed me all the paperwork that i would need to take home and fill out and bring back. i don't know if it went well because he thought i was qualified, or if they are just so desperate for lifeguards and swim instructors that he was going to take on anyone who showed him their certification cards.

so i took the paper work and he showed me around the pool and explained how things would run. i never exactly agreed to take the job, meaning i never said "Yes, I will most definitely become an employee of the Activity Center". but i did take all the paperwork home. i have yet to return it.

for some reason i just didn't have a good feeling about it. i can't explain why exactly, but there are a few things that really bothered me. for one, there would be no other lifegurds with me on any of my guarding shifts. what happens if some person being stupid dives into the shallow end and i have to backboard him? you can't backboard someone with just one person. there are also no lifeguards on duty when swim lessons or water aerobics are going on. it's just the responsibility of the instructors to pay attention to every single person in the water.

there was another things that really did not sit well with me. while i was down in the pool area, there was this man who liked to sit on the bottom of the deep end with a small dumbell in his lap. like a little 5-10 pounder. first of all, that is totally not safe. second, he's been told it's not a safe thing to do, and thirdly, this was while a class was going on - with no lifeguard on duty. the guy i interviewed with said that because people pay a membership fee, they can do whatever they want. whether that was his decision or a decision from higher up, it bothered me the rest of the day.

i'm going to call the guy tomorrow and tell him that i don't think i should take the job. i prayed about it and have just not had a good feeling about it since i left the interview. i don't want to put myself in a work environment where my skills as a lifeguard could be jeopardized because of poor structure of a program. i don't want to be sued for going in after someone and he or she not surviving becuse i didn't have proper backup as a lifeguard. and i'm really okay with not taking it. the haven't photocopied anything(like my certifications, driver's license, or ss card), or started to process any paperwork. sure it would be nice to have an extra job, but when my reputation could be at stake, that's not exactly something i want to sign up for.

well, that's part of the messy mind. but it's okay that my mind is messy; i'm used to my room being that way.

just keep swimming

so i'm teaching swim lessons again. it's ok. it's not so much that i mind teaching lessons, cause i don't, but it's my first session this summer and i know it's different than last summer because there's a new person in charge. but i feel like i've kinda been thrown into it without knowing what's going on. for instance, we have one day that is reserved as "safety day." well, i remember what we did last year, but this year is slightly different. instead of telling me what i'm supposed to go over with my students, i'm just kinda thrown into it, hoping i cover everything my boss wants me to cover. i guess my main thing is it would be nice to know what's expected of me. not only in what i'm supposed to teach, but what i'm supposed to do. am i grading my students this year, or is someone else coming around to evaluate? it can just be alittle frustrating.

so as much as i don't want to be working as a lifeguard for the city anymore, i really need a better paying job. so, i called about a job opening for swim instructors and lifeguards at Texins. i don't know if it pays better, but it's attached to Texas Instruments, so i'm guessing it pays at least as well as i'm making now.so, hopefully i'll get the job and it will pay better. i really want to get away from working for the city. as i've said before, i'm the oldest person there and lately i've felt my maturity level drop when i'm at work. it gets kinda frustrating.

josh got a job with Starbucks and started working last week. once his hours pick up, i'll be able to cut down on my hours at the city, or wherever i'm working at that time. i still really want to go into the entertainment field, but for now i'm having to put that on hold. and that's a whole other post in itself. there's so many things i want ot post about, but right now i just haven't the time. maybe next week when things slow down at work.

road trip

Josh and I went down to H-town this weekend. We're still here, actually. We came down for one of my best friend's birthday. It's been really fun. Because of her job, she is staying in the Renaissance hotel, so we got to stay with her. She was so sweet. Her room had a king bed, so she asked for a roll-away cot thing and let us newlyweds have the king bed. Oh it was so comfortable!! And the service was great. But best of all, it was all free!! At least for us, anyway.

We also stopped by and saw my grandmother Shirley. It was kinda hard to see her. She seems to be getting into her last days. While we were talking to her, she kept getting us confused with other people, or forgetting who we were, or what we had done. It was kind of hard to talk to her, and tell her "no, I'm Katie. My mom hasn't been here for eight years." I just pray she's not in much pain. As much as I still want her around and alive, sometimes you just wish she could no longer be in pain, and be in a place where there's no pain. I don't know if that makes sense, or if it sounds mean or ill-hearted, but I really just want her suffering to be over.

We were going to go to Surfside Beach this weekend and say hi to Momma, but with the hurricane and all the rain, we aren't going to be able to make the trip. We were kinda looking forward to it, but we will just have to save it for the next time. But for now, it's time to watch a movie. I'll be back later, probably after Josh and I get back to Big D. Peace!

revisiting...

so on friday at the pool, the water aerobics intsructor tossed beach balls into the pool and had the seniors try to keep them up in the air. This has been attempted a couple of other times, but this time, the seniors were actually getting the hang of it. The hit it at least 7 times in a row before it landed in the water. They were all laughing and seemed to be having such a good time. This event usually is quite entertaining for us lifeguards, since the ball would usually only be hit once before taking a dive. It's funny watching seniors attempt a game that children love to play, whether with a beach ball in water, or a birthday party balloon. It made me want to revisit part of my childhood.

I went home and found some Play-Doh. I forgot I had some. Last summer I made little goodie bgs for the preschoolers I taught swim lessons to. I bought a thing of like 10 little Play-Doh samples. I had two left over - orange and black. So I busted out the colors and started creating. I made a replica "Leaning Tower of Pisa" that had an orange floor ever other floor and black floors in between the orange ones. It even had little window looking things all around it.

It was so much fun to take some time out and just play. I didn't have to think about all the things that needed to get done around the apartment, or think about how little money we have, or wonder how we're going to pay all the bills this next month, or wonder how we're gonna make it, or worry about Josh not being able to find a job. I could just play. It was so much fun. I think I'm going to start taking a little time each day to just play.