Welcome to the world of randomness, ramblings, and reflections. Enter with caution.

18 August 2005

heart and mind and soul

i've been feeling a little down lately. it's not just one thing, it's a lot of things. things like, are we going to make rent next month, and what about all our bills, and why can't i be doing something i really love for a job?

i have a confession to make. i've been obsessed with the entertainment industry for as long as i can remember. i've always loved singing and acting, making music and being able to connect with people through art and comedy. i love going to movies and listening to music. i love making music. not only do i enjoy the "in the public eye" aspect of the indusry, but the behind the scenes stuff as well. i enjoyed being in theatre all through middle school and high school; i enjoyed leading worship throughout high school and college(and still today). i went to college and earned a degree in radio/television production, and had a lot of fun in my classes. but there still seems to be something missing. i'm still not working in this field.

i have been looking for a job in my field, and it's been hard to find something here in Dallas. i want to move to California or New York, because there's so much more activity in my field in these places. i know there's a lot of competition, but there's also a lot mor to be competitive about. but in moving to one of these places, one needs to have the funds to do so. and right now josh and i don't have the funds for much of anything.

i'm struggling with this desire to pursue my dream. ever since i was little i imagined myslef being in the entertainment industry in some form or fashion. it's really hard to determine whether this whole thing is my desire, or if it's God's desire for me. but i do know that He's gonna take care of me.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
-Phillipians 4:19

"Take delight in the LORD,and he will give you your heart's desires."
-Psalm 37:4