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30 December 2008

settling

so often times i settle in my life. it's something i struggle with. God has been making it more evident to me lately. the latest reminder came in a somewhat unlikely form: a song by katy perry. yep, the i kissed a girl and i liked it singer.

so her latest single is called thinking of you. a few lines in there struck me. "comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection" and "how can i have better once i've had the best".

the Lord is perfection. He is perfect in every way. i've tasted this perfection. yet comparison isn't easy for me. so many times i taste other things and think they are just as good as my Lord. rather than spend five minutes along with my Savior, i choose to watch a movie, or a television show, or just be lazy. because these things seem so important sometimes. i know it's stupid to think a movie is of any great importance in the battle for my affections, but it seems that way. i know in the back of my mind it can't compare to being in the presence of the almighty God, but i choose to settle.

the Lord is the best. He's my best. He wants the best for me. but again, so many times i think other things are better for me. but as the line says, how can i have anything better once i've had the best? i have the best. so why do i want something more?

maybe it's because these other things that rob my affections are much more tangible. so how do i make my God more tangible to me?

why is it that i can quote friends like nobody's business (well, bethany, you beat me at that), why i can memorize song lyrics after hearing them only once or twice, but i struggle to memorize scripture, to remember the promises my Lord has made, to remember that if i go to Him first it will turn out better than i could ever imagine? how do i use these gifts to remind me of how awesome the Lord is?

a new year is upon us. a time to make resolutions, a time to start over. i tend not to make resolutions because in my mind it's just a setup for failure. how many resolutions really last past march? the end of february? two weeks into the new year? I try to set goals for myself. see, a goal is something you strive for. a resolution seems more like asking for perfection. once you stumble or fail, you give up. a goal gives me something to look toward, even when i stumble i can still see it in the distance.

now, to be honest, i haven't reached many of the goals i've set for myself in the last few years. i still get overwhelmed at my shortcomings and tend to give up. but i can look up those past goals, see how far i am toward reaching them and continue to press on towards the goal.

my goal this year, amongst many others, is to realize that my God is the best. that He is perfection. that nothing else compares to Him and His majesty. This is going to be a daily journey, starting afresh every time i am fooled to think that something is better. to give Him first place in my life, to stop settling.

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